decisions.....

Many of us become so afraid of making a decision, one way or the other, that we become ‘stuck’ and unable to move forward.  When we become stuck in this indecisive state we become increasingly more and more unhappy and anxious.  We ask ourselves: “All of my friends and family are moving forward, excited for each day, why am I still stuck in this unhealthy _________ (relationship, body, job, house, town etc).  There may be many reasons for your indecisiveness but here are the top three I see in my Intuitive Living consultations. Once you recognize these obstacles, you can identify them, deal with them and move forward confidently.

1. Trust yourself. Do you trust yourself? Do you dwell on past decisions gone wrong? No matter what your decision, there will be an outcome, good or bad.  It is up to you to view this outcome as positive or negative.  If you make a decision and you perceive it as the “wrong” decision and beat yourself up about it, you will not be willing to face that question again. When that opportunity arises you might dismiss it remembering the ‘mistake’ you made in the past. Instead, try to view the outcome from all angles, learn from it, trust yourself and move forward past this point.

2. Perfectionism. If you delay a decision until all aspects are 100% perfect you will never make your decision.  This is true for major decision as well as minor decisions.  For example, so many people say, “I want kids but it is not the right time”.  There will never be a right time.  There will always be something that needs to be dealt with first.  Or, something as minor as asking your boss for time off, getting a new car, posting a blog, taking a vacation to a dream location.  We all have to start somewhere and if you don’t start you will never finish.  Stop making excuses waiting for the perfect moment, the moment is now.

3. Fear. To me, fear is the biggest obstacle to moving forward (fear of rejection, fear of the unknown). What if I ask and they say ‘no’?  What if my business is too successful and I can’t keep up? What if I make an offer on the house and they reject it? What if my date isn’t perfect?  What if, what if, what if…..? These thoughts aren’t bad,  allow yourself to have these thoughts then get rid of them. This is often hard to do, so sometimes it is helpful to answer your “what if” question.  For example, after I had kids I developed a fear of flying.  I would say to myself “what if the plane crashes and I die and my kids are left without a mother?”  I missed so many opportunities to travel, accept enriching jobs, and meet new people because of this ‘what if’.  Until one day it occurred to me to answer my question.  What if the plane crashed?  My kids know that I love them, they are well taken care of in my will, I have an incredible family who will raise them to be wonderful adults, and they will be okay.

Decisions, big or small, need to be made, so don’t be afraid to jump in with both feet and have fun!  Just take a deep breath, and remember regardless of the outcome, everything will be okay.